Romance in Your Marriage

The commandments for life found in the word of God are continually discredited by modern academia as being archaic dictums that have not kept pace with the times. The reality of course is quite the opposite. Two thousand years ago man rode up in a chariot and committed adultery; today he drives up in a car. The mode of travel has changed but not the evil motivation. The fundamentals of life remain the same. It shouldn't be hard to fathom that the Holy God of creation, who hung the world in space upon nothing and created the magnificence of DNA, would be able to write statutes that are always, without exception...true!

One of God's foundational commandments for living concerns the attitude of the husband and wife relationship. Today, husband and wife relationships have been unraveling at an ever increasing pace, totally decimating the American family. In the latest survey data concerning male-female cohabitation, a home headed up by a one-time married couple is now in the minority. Could it be related to the fact that the counsel of God has been thrown out as just an old archaic dictum?

GOD SAID that the wife should be obedient to her husband in all things and that she should honor him as God's word alloweth. God also commands that the husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Note the absolute completeness of committment required by both parties. This particular God Said-Man Said subject will deal mostly with the wife's position, but this article certainly does not excuse the man of culpability in marital dysfunction. In fact, when you find an unhappy wife, in many cases, you have a husband who is not doing his part by loving his wife as God intended -- unselfishly -- as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

Titus Chapter 2, Verses 3-5:

3. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Ephesians Chapter 5, Verses 22-25:

22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

I Peter Chapter 3, Verses 5-6:

5. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Sarah so honored her husband Abraham that she called him lord and was favorably recognized by God for her marital attitude. This is how God, the creator of all, directs the wife to conduct herself in the home. I must also note that the wife's commandment to be obedient to her husband excludes any directive from the husband which is contrary to the word of God.

MAN SAID the bible has no relevance for today and that the submissive wife concept is ridiculous. According to mankind the ideal marital attitude is authority-sharing, the 50-50 plan. The modern psychology of today's wife is one of "liberated" female, who shares the throne in the home with her husband or even lords over him. She is free to and encouraged to pursue her own career for self-serving purposes, separate from her husband's and the needs of their family. However, when a wife does and must work outside the home and her husband is in agreement, she should not be faulted. Unfortunately for today's woman, she is rebelling against God's natural design. She was created to be a helpmate to her husband and the nurturer of the family and because of her disobedience she shall be met with frustration of purpose and failure. Her new separate and "liberated" mindset has caused tremendous confusion and contributed dramatically to the destruction of their home.

Now consider THE RECORD.

Simple common sense would tell you that two generals can't successfully direct the same army; neither can two chefs run the same kitchen. It's apparent to the animal kingdom that leadership is critical for the group as a whole to be successful. You've of course heard the term "pecking order." Even chickens understand the concept of authority because one bird will invariably rise to the top and dominate the flock. Researchers examining this phenomenon compared flocks of chickens. One flock's pecking order was left alone. The researchers purposely unsettled the other flock by continuously removing the lead bird who had struggled to the top. The undisturbed flock, whose leader was allowed to remain in it's position of authority, bickered less, ate more, gained weight faster, and produced more eggs. Vast numbers of women have rejected the idea of marital submission and it continues to be rejected in a very aggressive way. Consider this: from 1970 to 1994 the divorce rate rose 300% and results of this breakdown have shown up in a myriad of places. For example, the prevalence of alcoholism in intact marriages is 8.9% but among the divorced or separated the number nearly doubles to 16.2% and for those divorced more than once the number is nearly 300% higher. Suicide among the divorced is 280% higher than from among those in married households. Depression, which is a national epidemic, attacks divorced women very hard. A woman once divorced is nearly three times more likely to be depressed than her one-time married sister.

General mental illness is nearly twice as high among the divorced verses their married or never-married counterparts. The divorced are nearly 450% more likely to suffer from loneliness and the list goes on. Plus, the problem of divorce greatly damages the children involved, up to the 3rd and 4th generations. Just one example is children requiring professional help for emotional or behavioral problems. Households with both the biological mother and father present show 2.7% of their children needing professional care verses 8.8% of formerly married mothers and 6.6% with mothers and stepfathers. (Jesus Christ alone can break this terrible chain of events. Click on to Further with Jesus.)

Today a full 65% of marriages are doomed. When the woman "wears the pants" in the family, the whole family suffers.

Unfulfilled marital expectation between husband and wife leads to disillusionment and unfaithfulness.Today extra-marital relationships are ever so common. Wives long for loving husbands. They long for romance yet it continues to elude them. This longing becomes apparent in the female population's strong desire for romance novels and soap operas, etc. Could the "liberated" female be contributing to the destruction of the very thing she seeks?

New research now shows that leadership and success create higher levels of testosteone in men and higher levels of testosterone create more assertive behavior which also increases male stamina and sexuality. When a man is honored by his wife as the head of the home, his testosterone levels will increase, his confidence and leadership abilities will be enhanced, and his romantic desire for his submitted wife increases. According to the Preventative Medicine Clinic of Monterey, "Testosterone may be the most important health factor in the male body. Testosterone really separates the men from the boys. When naturally abundant, testosterone is at the core of energy, stamina and sexuality. When it is deficient it is at the core of fatigue, aging and disease."

Problems caused by testosterone deficiencies are many but one in particular is male erectile dysfunction. It's estimated that 30 million American males have from mild to severe erectile dysfunction. An in-depth discussion is found on the web at www.powerpak.com/ce/pfizer-ed/lesson.htm where they had this to say:

While most patients with erectile dysfunction have some degree of an organic or physiological problem, psychogenic aspects of low self-esteem, anxiety, and poor partner communication and conflict are often important contributing factors.

Normal levels of hormones, especially testosterone, are needed for natural erectile function and testosterone is directly affected by a wife's treatment of her husband. It is merely the element of design. Woman was created to be an help meet for her husband and to cheerfully accept to his Godly leadership. Unfortunately for the family, today's woman is not of that attitude. In a survey of single women published in an August 28, 2000 issue of Time Magazine this question was asked, "Which do you find a very serious fault in men's ability to relate to women?" Sixty-one percent thought men were too controlling. It is understood that "controlling" or "domineering" is not what God intended for a loving relationship; however, the man should be the "head" of his wife, even as christ was the head of the church. The American marriage has a hard road ahead of it.

Just one other problem that many psychologists have pointed out is the problem of role reversal in the home and how it correlates with homosexuality. Remember the male child and testosterone. He will emulate the leader in his home. If the wife is the leader, chances of homosexuality increase.

A new secular book which quickly made Amazon's Top 10 List is titled The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle. She intructs the woman to stop trying to control her husband, quit criticizing him, learn not to interrupt and apologize if she becomes disrespectful. Doyle has instituted this in her own home and has listed the benefits. She has accumulated a large following of women who are beginning to see the light, which was originally illuminated in the scriptures, by God.

GOD SAID, the wife should be subject to her own husband in every thing, and that the husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church.

MAN SAID the bible directives are old and outdated and that the 50-50 plan is best.

Now you know THE RECORD.

 

References:

King James Bible

www.powerpak.com/ce/pfizer-ed/lesson.htm

Time Magazine, August 28, 2000

Laura Doyle, author, The Surrendered Wife

www.smartmarriages.com/divorce_brief.html

Richard Conniff, "Want To Be Boss?," Discover Magazine, May 2000

 

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